Tombstone

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[coughing] Welcome to Movie Life Crisis. Join us as we watch the best movies from 30 years ago. From Hollywood Pictures, they shared a past. What up is my friend? A trust. Thanks for always being there, Doc. And an enemy. I want you to lie.- Live together, they fought a battle at the OK Corral. The West would never forget.- Oh my God.(grunts)- Herc Russell is wider. Val Kilmer is Doc Holliday. They're bringing justice to Tombstone, right at our.- What was that?- Oh man, so two things. One is if I just heard that trailer and then I went to see the movie, I would think it was gonna be on "Cinemax." I was just thinking that did you get the trailer from Porn Hub or something? Why was it like that? This is the Emmanuel Ghost of Space, Tombstone version. And the other thing is I know during this episode, I'm going to call Doc Holiday, Doc Holly, what about five times? You're definitely going to do that. But that's what happens when you do the Red Shoot Diaries of Tombstone. What? What was that really? That's the TV spot dude. That's the TV spot. I looked at three of them. They all have that same music. That is so weird.- That's the music.- Remember that music.- It's not in the movie at all. It's all frickin' violins and shit. And the score in the movie. But I guess they wanted to church it up a little bit for the TV audience. Get people interested through that late night music on there.- We'll put the buds in the seats with the porn music.- Awesome.- Yeah, or they're selling perfume. I definitely felt like I was gonna be like a silhouette and a scarf.- I'm wide-open. I wear a tombstone.- Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell's got the facial expressions to sell Cologne. and he's like squintin' all the time.- Yeah, yeah.- Movie life crisis, JT, your Jeff. This is season three episode 16, Tombstone.- Wow. 16 already.- It happened so fast.- I shan't believe it.- The days are long, but the years are short.- Can we do it a podcast?(laughing)- Oh man, the people I know in real life keep asking me why we say that every time.(laughing) I'm sorry, everyone.- Dude, we don't have time to explain all the dumb shit we do, all the reasons that we do it. just because you and I and only you and I think it's even slightly funny. Yeah, if it makes us chuckle, we're going to do it. Yeah, I'm your Huckleberry. Let's talk about... Let's talk about it. Let's talk about Tombstone. Do you want a quick synopsis? Yeah, give me a synopsis. I just realized that Robert Mitchem was doing the narration. I had not looked that up. I was like, oh, I like that guy. Really? This whole time I thought it was what's his name with the big master? Well, that didn't ever do it. Sam Elliott. Sam Elliott. Man, he should narrate everything. I love his voice.- Yeah, he's got a good voice.- I watched the behind the scenes feature at that someone just ripped right off the Tombstone DVD. And every time I did say,"Malay, it was talking, I was like,"gotta love that guy when he talked."- He's got a good voice.- Yeah.- Good voice.- All right, Wyatt opened his brothers Morgan and Virgil, have left their gunslinger ways behind them to settle down and start a business in the town of Tombstone, Arizona, while they're looking to find trouble, trouble. Soon, find them, finds them, and they become targets of ruthless cowboy gang. Now together with the white, with white's best friend, Doc Holliday, dang it, dang it. Doc Holliday, the brothers pick up their guns once more and restore order to a lawless land.- I was trying to figure out if Tombstone was like, it's an Arizona, but is that like Flagstaff Arizona, like up north or is it way down by Mexico? And it's definitely way down by Mexico.- It's, yeah, it's way down low.- But well, the reason I wondered that is because the whole movie, everyone's wearing three-piece suits with like big wool coats. and I was like, I've been to Arizona, how are they doing that?- I don't care if it's the northern part of Arizona, you still ain't wearing a three-piece suit. Dude, I marked that down too. Are people just not sweating? Like, this is a serious question. I'm wondering, oh, it's a movie. That's why they don't show them sweating. Or are they really just people didn't sweat back then?- How does that, I think, I'm just assuming everybody was drenched with sweat all the time. Wait, so actually, I had this for a little bit later, but I'm gonna move it up right now while we're doing it. I wrote a list of, what would you like least about living in the old west. I got some options for you, I'm gonna let you pick.- Oh, I'm ready, I'm ready.- So I got no AC, long pants, long sleeves, full suit, all the time with a hat.- Yeah.- I've got moustaches, I've got, having to ride horses everywhere. I've got, everyone carrying a pistol all the time. And then finally, I've got pooping outdoors.- This is a hard choice.- Unless you got anything you want to ride in on that bow.- Well, this thing is, I think we've all seen my mustache. I can't grow it into a-- - I was gonna say, I know mustache is gonna be up, is it leading contender for you? You've got the anti-hitler. You can't grow the mustache, where Hitler's mustache was.- That just proves that I like the Jews.- Yeah, obviously.- Me and Hitler could make out and our mustache is for never touch. It's really weird, it just doesn't grow there. But there was that one guy, and he looked like he was maybe from Mexico.- Yeah, it was like a Hispanic guy. Yeah, yeah, and he had just the tiny little tuffs of hair out to the side. I could grow this. Yeah, I could grow that. Dude, all of those are horrible. Horrible. I don't wanna do any of that. I don't even like pooping on vacation without a Vidae anymore. Like I don't wanna poop outside. No, no, while we're in cowboy boots in a full suit. So once you're done, you can pull up your wool pants. Actually wipe your ass with sand.(laughing) I was just thinking, I know what my back doors like after I sweat in pants when I don't want to. I can only imagine if I couldn't clean myself properly. That is, you'd be pooping in that river where they had that shootout. How much did hookers get paid in that town to deal with that? That is horrible. Yeah, all of those, 'cause the whole movie I'm going,"Man, Westerns are so cool, I really like them." And then I'm going, "I hate all of this, though." No, there's no air conditioning. There's no, there's no light. If you want to light up the place at night, you just light a thousand candles, and then you just keep thinking, how did everyone not die in a fire? There's candles everywhere. I was gonna ask you that too. There was a fire in the back of one scene where they're like walking in slow motion. And I was like, how bad is it that every building is made of wood? And the only way to put it out is to run back and forth with a bunch of buckets. With buckets of water, the fire brigade. Yeah, that's captain of the fire brigade. Yeah, like the horses are kind of fun. Like mustache, if we were doing a live podcast and we were doing tombstone, I would have shaved the mustache just for the episode, but since we don't use the video, I didn't need to do that.- Yeah, I can't grow mustache, so I still would have been the same thing.- Yeah. (laughs)- Same thing.- In the NoAC, if it was like in Flagstaff and the mountains of Arizona, that could be, that would be okay, but in, on the Mexican border, that would be, no, I would die.- I do, it's brutal. Right now it's hot here.- Yeah.- I can't, it's dude.- When I walk from my studio to my truck, I think this is too hot. And that takes like 10 seconds.- Of course it does.- Yeah, it's too hot. Way, way too hot.- Anyway, and when that house burned in the movie, they didn't like explain why it was on fire.- No, that's why I put in the, I didn't understand that.- Well, I was gonna say, I have that on the, on the like just random shit about this movie that I like is the director said like, I wanted to show in the background stuff like you would see in a real Western town. Like there was a guy, there was a kid cleaning up horse shit in the shot. Like I wanted him to do that because that's what really would have happened in these towns. And so I think the house being on fire was kind of like that except that's a weird enough thing that you kind of should have explained it. Especially since all four of them turned around and looked at the fire and then kept walking in slow motion. Yeah, none of them went like well to the Red shoe diaries theme. Not my house. Keep it going. There was a couple of times like I saw there were Asian people. I assumed Chinese because they were all Chinese back then. Yeah. They had like the, uh, the big round hat. It looks like a symbol that like a walk all. Yeah. Yeah. Button up all the way to the neck with some spats on their shoes. Yeah. They were just walking through town. Nobody ever mentioned them ever. No. And well, and also, uh, they said the background actors instead of hiring like actors to go, hey, you put on this costume and then walk across the road. They actually hired reenactors. Almost reenactors.'cause I think they called them like Buccaneers or something like that or Buccarous. Like dudes that like to dress up like The Old West. And so like one of them came down from Montana and was like, "Yeah, I wanna be an extra in the movie." I'm coming down and it's like, yeah. And Kurt Russell was like talking to him. I guess he knew him and he's like, well, you know you'll have to sleep in a tent. The whole time we're shooting, he's like, oh, a tent, that's awesome. I was just gonna bring my bed roll. Oh my gosh. So everyone in the scenes that isn't speaking, all the background actors are really like old West reenactors, like that's their horse, that's their clothes, that's their gun, like it's all period correct.- That's ridiculous, that's crazy man.'Cause there was people like, there was an old guy used to come in a CVS. He's just a big cowboy hat, like the shirt with the pearly buttons, snap and like tassels and he had like a revolver on his hip. Like it was a real like concealed weapon carry thing.- Right.- On his hip boots, tight jeans, and I was like, "This guy loves being a cowboy." But then he walks outside and gets in like a Ford Taurus and drives home. So like, that's weird. But like, he likes the whole stick. So maybe, yeah.- Maybe there's a lot of people out there like that.- They're definitely are. And they were, I think, a lot of them were in this movie. Anyway, the budget, $25 million, budget, $73 million gross, it's number 20 on the year.- That's crazy.- $73 million doesn't sound like it made a lot of money, But you got to remember in the '90s, there were eight movies that made $100,000.$100 million. Sorry. Right. Yeah, yeah. Like, Schindler's list didn't make $100 million. Yeah, but so this is rated R. And this is also R rated, which automatically is going to cut your gross probably in half. Right. Especially, I mean, I guess there's no PG-13 at this point in time, but yeah, I think it's just because of the violence. I think having it R, what's a Oppenheimer's R?- Oppenheimer's R, yes. - Yeah.- And it's made a lot of money. I think that's like a thing that's--- It's made a ton of money.- That they're talking about though.- Well, it's outperformed a lot, but I think because of it being R rated, it's like, oh, it's only gonna make whatever many millions of dollars and it's made way more.- Yeah, yeah. I think to be honest, I don't understand why this is R.'Cause they had PG-13 at this point because it was like what, 89 wins.- Oh yeah, you're right.- Oh yeah, you're right.- So like early 90s they rolled that out.- So 89 I think is when, what's the second Indian of Jones?- Temple of the New.- I think that's the one, isn't it?- Yeah. - Yeah.- So like they had PG-13, they could have made this PG-13, what did they have in it that was, I mean other than shooting in some way.- I don't know, but it was also kind of old West. Shooting, like they didn't show people's like, guts exploding, they would show the gun and like the smoke coming out of it. So it really wasn't even like that violent to me.- And they weren't even holding the guns correctly, I think.- No, well it's weird 'cause they had spent so much energy on the period correctness, but some of the gunshot, some of the shooting scenes, they're like, that guy shot a shotgun at someone like a thousand miles away and he didn't even hold it against his shoulder. He was holding it up over his head.- Right.- It's like that was kinda weird.- There was a lot of times they were throwing the guns around. It looked like that movie with Angelina Jolie where they could make the bullets bend.- Yeah, I wanted.- Wanted, yeah. And they were shooting like that. I was just like, that took me out of it a little bit. I think the reason that those shots looked so weird to us is because they were all using single action revolvers. So every time they shot, they'd have to with their thumb, cock it first. - Pull it back, yeah.- I think I just made it look weird.- It did look weird.- 'Cause when I would see people doing it, I was like, "This is like me when I was like eight years old and I would do that with my thumbs."- Pow, pow. - I was like, trying to cock the gun and then shoot it. But that might have been part of that too.- Yeah.- Dude, when I looked for awards, I didn't see any, I did see that, you know, Cisco and Ebert, Ebert said that this year, this movie was good and it got lost in the year in Holiday Shuffle and it never got the recognition it deserves. So he thinks if it would have came out earlier in the year, it would have won some stuff. I don't know the politics of how you get nominated for stuff and if it's Kurt Russell to mainstream to get nominated for stuff, but the production design in this movie was frickin' incredible. And the costumes were amazing. Yeah, all of that stuff looked great. And like Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday was so damn good.- Yeah, it's one of his roles that everybody talks about when they talk about him.- Yeah, you can find a lot of stuff on YouTube but people over the years asking him at like on interviews and at festivals and stuff, comic fest going like, hey, talk about Doc Holliday, like how'd you come up with that guy?- Yeah. - That do it? Does say, "Hollywood."- No, you said it right. You almost did it. - I almost did it.- You hesitated.(laughing)- I know.- You hesitated. You hesitated. All of us are like, "Doc Holliday."- Doc Holl, Doc, a Doc. And so when he was Doc, he was playing Doc.- Yeah, it was. I didn't find any awards. I didn't find any sequels or spin-offs. I mean, there've been like 50 movies about Wider. I don't know where there's any directly tied into this one.- Not tied to, well, the making of Tombstone, they had a book about that in 2018. There was a paperback book that they wrote based on the screenplay.- Oh yeah, I did see that.- And then this is all based off for those dime novels that came out way back in the gap. There's a guy named Ned Butt-Buntline that writes all those dime novels. That's what these are based off of.- Nice. - Where it's like heroes, choose virtue over vice and stuff like that. And then I think we would be remiss if we didn't mention that the Wyatt Earp movie with Kevin Costner came out six months after this.- Yeah, I was trying to think of that'cause one of the doc holiday quotes that I was thinking of(laughing) was from that Wyatt Earp movie with Kevin Costner. And I was like, waiting for Miss Aida's like,"I'll never set it." I was like, "Shit, I want it." I was like, oh, it's from the other wider.- It's the other.- It came out. It's the frickin' Armageddon deep impact where they're making the same movie twice in the same year with different studios.- But it's not like Transformers and Transformers that you're just trying to get somebody's grandma to buy the wrong thing.- Right. This one's slightly cheaper. It's a genuine sorny. Do you remember when you first saw this movie?- I don't remember the very first time, but I know for sure this was a movie we recorded off HBO on VHS. And I can remember what the sticker looks like on the outside, because I have it in my classroom. I don't remember where I first thought though, but that's where it. That's where it is now. I feel I probably would have had to have been in like a junior or senior in high school before I would have been able to see this because we didn't have HBO. And I wasn't I couldn't see our rated movies prior to that unless my dad was with me or something. And then eventually I get to the point where it's like, I would do whatever you want. I don't care. But at this point, I would have been in junior high, I wasn't able to do that. So it would have been a couple of years. But no, I know we watched this in high school because I remember we used to quote it all the time. So I don't know if I saw like a made for TV version or if someone had a VHS that I borrowed. Right. But there's a lot of dialogue from this movie that I remember we used to, like Andrew Fowler used to love this movie and quoted it all the time. Yeah, there's a bunch of people that we grew up with that like this movie. Yeah. Where'd you rate it? No sevens. No sevens. I went back and forth from an enjoyment level. I got it about a six and a half. The more I started thinking about it afterwards, the more detail that there were in the costumes and the guns and the production design and like everybody's efforts to really portray these real people. I was like, you know, I really like when people do that. And so I bumped it to eight, eight out of 10 Jimmy Dogs.- Damn it. So I don't know if you were watching me write my notes as I was writing them online or something, but I put 6.5 because I enjoyed it, but all of the history wasn't super accurate and I don't like Westerns. But every single set looked awesome and all of the people and how they dressed were perfect and I liked it so I gave it an eight also.- Yeah, that sucks, that's unfortunate. I hate when we wait, wait, wait, movies the same. That's what I'm saying.- But we do.- I don't, that's literally the exact same thought I had.'Cause I don't like Westerns that much. Like spaghetti Westerns, that's not for me. But like.- I don't like Westerns as much as I like comedies, but it may just be that there aren't as many that I think are really entertaining.'Cause I do like this one, and I do like quick in the dead, which I think is a 94 or 95. So there are some that I like, but like there's some, when it's like,"Hey, 310 to you,"is that everyone says it's awesome?" And I don't care about that, I'm not watching that.- Right, I've seen that. Like I see a lot of them, but I just, I'm sure if I watched it, I would enjoy it. I would rather sit on my couch than drive to a movie theater and watch that. And I know if someone said, come watch this with me, I would like it.- Right, right, and you would. But the thing is, I just can't, I don't know what it is about Westerns, I don't like. Like all of the stuff you mentioned about why I wouldn't like living in the West is part of the reason I don't like it. But then there's other things. We'll talk about, I have some stuff in the worst.- Yeah, man. I had to bump it a little bit because the cast is unbelievable. It's like 15 deep. I kept writing down. I was like, holy shit, I'm like, that's frickin' Jason Prisley, that's Billy Zane, that's Charlton Heston. Like, people keep coming out of the woodworks and appearing in this movie, and that's incredible. I think Val Kilmer, I think this performance is one of the best performances of any actor in this decade.- Wasn't Val Kilmer Batman in this decade?- Yes, and he beats that by a lot.- Wait a second, Captain Ron is also in this decade.- Kurt Russell.- Kurt Russell.- Great job. Always been a fast healer. Of course I believe in Jesus so that helps.(laughing)- Oh man, the people in real life also talk about how much you hate that movie but still quoted. It's great.- Yeah, just 'cause I thought it was not funny and everyone was in the wrong roles. It doesn't mean it didn't hit a couple funny lines.- Go Rilla!- Go Rilla. He's doing it on purpose.(laughing) Yeah, no, I think that the Val Kilmer Doc Holiday performance is one of the best. It's so good, man. And I had like eight quotes. Some like, all right, it's really well written. I think it's pretty historically accurate. There's crazy cast list. So I gave it a little bump.- Yeah, now I'm with you. Everything that all the stuff you're mentioning is the same reason I gave it the bump too.- Like dude, I was just typing as the movie was going along people that were showing up at the movie and I was like, all right, Kurt Russell, Bill Paxton, Sam Elliott, Val Kilmer, Billy Bob Thornton, Billy Zane, Jason Priestley, Thomas Hayden Church, Terry O'Quinn, Charleston Heston, Michael Rooker, Michael B.N. Powers Booth. I was just typing as people would appear on screen. I was like, "I know that guy. That's the guy from this yondu from going to the galaxy." It is, yeah. Like that's Charleston Heston. He probably brought all his own guns. From my cold dead fingers or hand or whatever he says. Yeah, dude. Let's do some scenes. What's your first scene?- All right, first scene is towards the beginning, Doc Holiday is playing cards with a guy named Ed.- Yeah.- And they raises them all the way up to like 500 bucks and Doc Holiday ends up throwing a hand down that wins and he loses his mind. And like as he's putting it down, he's like,"Idn't that daisy?"Idn't that a daisy?" Or something like that. And that guy gets mad. And they're talking back and forth in Doc Holiday's. He's always got his gun right here in the holster in front of his leg, you know, like right there.- Yeah, it's like, there's no like low slung holsters in this movie. They're always like, it's like tucked into like in front of his belly, like on his opposite hand side.- Yeah, yeah, and he's always like, just cross body draw. - Cross body draw.- You call that?- Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's touching the butt of the gun with his fingers just very, are we crossed? And I wanna keep you as my friend. If you weren't my friend, I just don't think I could bear it. Like he was throwing it on thick And that guy was super mad and he tries to reach for his gun and Doc holiday pulls both of them out before the guy even Has his hand all the way on his gun And then he takes the guns out and sets them in the pot on top of all the money taps the guns He's like there you go with friends again And that guy tries to make a move anyway and Doc holiday freaking stabs him with a knife. Yeah, that whole scene was freaking sweet Yeah, that was awesome even filled with TB, he was quicker than the other guy.- Yeah, because the guy was like, he's like, without them guns, you're just a skinny little, I was trying to figure out what you're saying, he was saying longer. - Longer, yeah.- Yeah, longer, yeah.- Because he had tuberculosis and he's like coughing up blood all the time. And so Doc takes his guns out, sets them in the pot and he's like,"There, no more guns."Now we can be friends." I would break my heart if we weren't able to be friends. And then the guy like jumps him, velcomer stabs him, and it's like, all right, even though he's all sickly and he doesn't need his guns, he's still gonna stab somebody. He could have just coughed on him. If you know TB's contagious, not as contagious as the flu, but it's contagious.- I was wondering, I was like, I don't know how you get tuberculosis or how easy it is to give it to someone else, but no one seemed to mind that he was coughing at tuberculosis all over him.- Dude, coughing and sneezing and any kind of droplets that you inhale or get on your mucus membranes, all of a sudden now you have TB. It's a bacteria.- So that whole tuberculosis thing could have been prevented if everyone and we just wore a mask.- Just a mask up and save everyone.- Just a mask up and save lives.- Save lives.(laughing)- Dude, and I also like that the Kevin Jari, the writer, this script, I think is so, it doesn't, it doesn't pander at all because there's people all throughout saying, like throwing out slang that I didn't understand.- Yeah, right, right.- Like longer and like, when they were talking about gunfights, they were saying all kind of slang I never even heard of and it's like Billy Bob Thornton says to Kurt Russell, he's like, like you sure are talking big for a man who's not healed and he's like, I don't need to be healed, a rouse to lump like you. And I was like, I don't know what any of that means.- Yeah.- Did you like everyone's at twice to like put on the subtitles? They were saying healed, like be well healed. And I think that we would think of that as being like wealthy, but I think in those days they meant armed.- Weird.- Like well healed as like you have a gun. He was like, yeah, yeah, damn that's cool.- And then it didn't, dude, and then Kurt Russell said something like, going and draw that smoke wagon and see what happens. I was like, he's just throwing out all kind of sling. I never heard of for God. I guess that means gun. But I like that this dude just threw in all the frickin' slang and didn't explain it. And I was like, oh, I have to figure it out. That makes me feel smart.- Yeah, and on top of that, he had a lot of people talk, the guy who wrote it, had a lot of people talk in this movie. There's some like 89 speaking roles.- 85 speaking roles.- Dude, that's a lot.- Yeah, well dude, and when Doc's, you know, whatever, Hungarian partner came inside on his lab, he was like, oh, you're not wearing a bussel. I was like, he didn't say what a bussel was. I just know that, but I'm sure about people don't. I'm like, it's cooler. They just freaking threw out the jargon and you just have to figure it out. Tell the people what a bustle is. That's the thing that's on the back of the dress that made the woman's booty look like there's sticking out. Yeah, yeah, like a little shelf. Yeah, exactly. So what's your first scene? That's a great scene. My first scene also has Doc Holliday. It's when Doc and Johnny Ringo first meet up and they're speaking Latin to each other. Speaking Latin back and forth. And he's all, and he's, Doc is all hammered like he always is. and he was like, "Well, John A. Ringgo." He was like, "Should I hate him? I think I hate him." And he starts talking and Latin to him. Yeah. And then Johnny Ringgo starts speaking and Latin back to him, and then they're talking shit to each other and Latin. Yeah. Always an educated man. And yeah, like that.'Cause and then Johnny Ringgo's like, he's trying to intimidate Doc, so he pulls out his guns and he starts touring him like a maniac. He's like touring him sideways and over his head. And he's, and everyone in the whole bar's like, Woo! And then afterwards he's like, he's like, squint, iron, doc, who's like, never gotten out of his chair and he's all sweaty and drunk. He starts taking his little cup that he drinks booze out of and he starts spinning it around on his fingers.- Oh, his finger?- Yeah.- And he spins it for a really long time, like an awkwardly long time and he finishes like a family guy long time. And he's like spinning it and he doesn't switch hands but he spins it all the way to the other side where the other hand is. He's got a family guy long time. It's a perfect way to say that. Like his, yes.(laughing)- Yeah, so tell everybody what the Latin was,'cause I, yeah.- Well, wait, real fast. I wanna know, like, when you're spinning guns, and everybody's like, woo! What's the modern day equivalent of doing that in front of a bunch of people? Like, spinning a gun, like, I don't know, revenue engine and a stoplight?- Ooh, yeah, that's a big one.- I don't know.- Yeah.- I'm sure people still spin guns. It's probably harder with like an assault rifle, but I think people still probably spin 'em.- I can't even imagine everybody carrying guns now.- Yeah, all right, so the first thing he says is in Vino Veritas, which is in wine there is truth.- Yeah.- And then Johnny Ringo responds with, do what you do. And then he replies with, let appellate the Jew believe, not I, and I don't know why he said that. And then he said, youth is the teacher of fools. And then Doc Holiday responded with in Pase Resiquate, which is, may he rest in peace? And I don't, at Resicat. I don't know why they say that.- So I read a blog post explaining the Latin, and I think those translations you gave are pretty close literally, but I think mainly what it was saying is they're basically talking shit to each other. Like, you know, Doc says, you know, and and and wine truth, and then Ringo says, you know, shout your mouth before I kill you and Doc says, somebody might kill me, but it's not gonna be you. And then Ringo says, whatever. But they were basically shit talking in Latin. It's lucky that that guy knows Latin so they could shit talk. Otherwise, you just, like if you started talking smack to me in Spanish, I would just smile and nod. Locianto, I'm sorry, I got in love with you.- Oh, Locianto, I come back.(laughing) Dude, well it's weird because I go to look stuff up about this movie and I'm like, man, there's a lot of information out there. This movie only made $76 million. I'm like, these are all real people and this stuff all really happens. So it's like, oh, well Johnny Ringo went to public school in Missouri. So he probably would have known some Latin. And Doc actually was an aristocrat from Georgia. His dad was the mayor of Al Dosta, Georgia. And I was like, "Hell, shit, there's a lot of backstory." These are real dudes.- Yeah, these are real dudes.- This is actually, all of these people existed.- Yeah.- So we actually know that they would have known. And it's like, "Oh, well, Doc would have known a lot more Latin 'cause he was really well educated and Gringo would have known just probably a little bit'cause he was, you know, went to public school in Missouri in the 1800s.- Yeah. Do you think any of the kids that go to public school Missouri right now can speak Latin. That definitely not. Definitely. I don't know where Missouri ranks. I mean, probably better than Louisiana's 49th or 50th, but, but we're 51. We're behind Puerto Rico and they just got electricity back from the storm. So, uh, yeah, we're pretty bad. Where number 51 out of 50 states. What's your next scene? All right. My second one was Doc Spinnan is Cup and against what for the, like, yeah, thing going off. And then we already kind of talked about my third scene too, which is when Kurt Russell and Billy Bob Thornton go back and forth. And he is slapping the shit out of Billy Bob in the face. Dude, he's wailing on Billy Bob. And he is like right up in his face, squinty-eyed, like you said, just going throw down, boy, which is just going to stay in there and bleed. And then like some other stuff transpires and they go outside. And that's when he, you know, the the the earth brothers see Doc holiday for the first time and he comes up and he shakes his hand. Billy Bob Thornton comes walking up holding a gun trying to because because uh why at earth or Kurt Russell took his gun and when after he was finished slapping him uh and he went home and got another gun and came back and he was holding it and he frigging uh when Doc turns to him and goes, "Oh, Johnny, I apologize. I forgot you were there." I was like, "Geez, they're just dumping on this guy hard." And then they say, "Yeah, you can leave." And leave the gun. And he tries to hand it to him. He says, "I said leave the gun."Drop it." And he makes him put it on the ground and he walks off. And Billy Bob Thornton played that perfect, man. He killed it. It was a little chubby Billy Bob. I like-- - Yeah, I like there's like young chubby Billy Bob. Yeah, he was awesome, man. and that's, I had some of the quotes from that, I had way too many quotes for this, but yes. So you're gonna do some of these, you're just gonna let Aaron, stand there and bleed.- Yeah.- And then he tries to creep up on them in broad daylight. Dude, the number of people shooting other people in broad daylight for no reason at all in this movie. If that's what it really was like.- Well, I'm sure they had a reason. But from my perspective, no reason at all.- No reason.- I didn't put that on the list of why it would suck to live in the old West, but it would be very high on the list. People just shooting you for no reason at all.- What about when, man, what the hell's his name? The curly bill. He's just out there coming out the opium den, just shooting random, like people were just walking across the street, he's like shooting him at the feet. I'm not even talking about killing people, he's just randomly shooting into buildings, which we have decided are made of just straight wood and catching him on fire. So like dude, imagine being anywhere near the okay corral when they start throwing down. I hate to tell you that, but people still shoot, come out and shoot for no reason straight up into the air. Like every fourth of July, New Year's, people celebrate by firing their weapons straight up into the air.- Yeah, if it was only unaware of physics.- If it was only straight up in the air where it would land somewhere near them, that would be great, but it's not. It's never straight up in the air.- Every New Year's day, you read about someone who got killed by a bullet that fell out of the sky from someone celebrating New Year's by shooting into the air. So that's definitely still happening.- No, it definitely is. And I remember the Mexican with Brad Pitt.- Oh yeah. sort of shooting in the air and they just started falling and he was running in a circle and didn't know where to go. Like that, I can't imagine that's what it's like. That's horrible. It's horrible. Oh man. I like that movie. Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts. I think that's in the early 2000s. We'll get there. We'll make it. Maybe. Yeah. That's a great one. I like seeing Billy Bup Thornton. It was pretty early. I don't think he had done a whole lot at this point, but he was good. Yeah. I like him. I like him. What's your answer? My next one is the shootout at the OK Carouse, a.k.a. the Sandlot. out of the okay knipple. I can't not think that with David Tell every time I see it. Every time. Oh, I thought about David Tell later on in this movie when Doc, Doc holiday was talking about his one true love. I was watching my cousin press feed for a buck. So she said, yeah, dude, they go to the, I mean, I guess this is like they built the town where they shot it a couple miles from where tombstone actually is look actually now. Right. Yeah. And they built a two look as close to the modern the old tombstones they could. So this is what the Carole would have looked like this is where it would have located been located in the town. And they were all talking about the behind the scene stuff like this is really what happened like they went to go. Virgil's the sheriff he's like, they got guns. I'm gonna go take the guns away and why it's like, don't do that. Who cares? It's a misdemeanor. They're drunk. They're mad. Just let him in. He's like, well, they're breaking the law. Right. And then the other the other guy is like don't worry, I already present. Yeah. They're breaking the law. They're breaking the law.(laughing) The other sheriff, the politician sheriff, is like don't worry about it, I already disarmed him and they go in there anyway. Yeah. But dude, it was funny here in the actors who played the Cowboys, I know it's the real name, but it's confusing to me that the villains were called the Cowboys. That's the actual name of a gang in the 1800s after the Civil War. But to me, the whole movie they're like, this is the end of the Cowboys. I'm like, I thought Cowboys were around for a while.- Yeah. - In initial football right now.- Yeah, to be honest, I'm a saint's man, so the Cowboys are the bad guys.- Yeah, no, totally.- I know what you're saying. Yeah, it was weird to hear Cowboys.- As a derogatory term.- But even the like, this okay, okay, Carral shootout has been so well chronicled, the okay, can it pull?- I thought you were gonna say.(laughing)- Like even the, like there's these, these guys are on this side, these guys are on this side. Every one of these people actually lived and was actually in this shootout. and even to the point of like, we know who drew first and we know who they shot at and we know where they hit them and how many times. So like it really is like a kind of a historical reenactment. It's like, oh, this guy shoots first. Thomas Hayden-Chaird, I forget his like character's name. He shoots it while it draws and doesn't shoot at him, shoots at a different guy and hits him and then--- Yeah. I don't know.- It was trying to like nitpicks. Like this is like 90s action movie. Everyone's shooting way too many times and everyone is infinite ammo. but I was actually, they were trying to be really thorough about this person, this person and this person, this person, and then this person runs away.- I was reading that it was like, in real life, it was like 30 seconds maybe. But in the movie it lasted 90 seconds'cause it took a little longer, but that was just like.- Yes, Emily said, 28 seconds. I don't know how they would have known that in 1971, but that's what he said. So clearly, when the first person shot, they just started going one Mississippi, too. someone had one of the little pocket watches in the Chinese laundries, hunkered down, looking at it, like Rosio Donald and League of their own, to be a record.- Dude, I did read, like talking about the Cowboys. In the 1830s, the Texas Rangers, not the baseball team, wanted to get rid of the bandits, rustlers and nair duels, and push them further west, and they were called Cowboys, and they used that as a derogatory term for like rustlers and people like that. and by 1870s, they were all the way in New Mexico and Arizona, so that's why those guys were there. So that whole part was true too. Dude, every time they said Cowboys, though, it was messing with me. I don't know why. I guess maybe Cowboys and other Westerns are the good guys?- Well, I just think of Cowboys as like a generic term for like a man named West who like rides a horse. Like everyone's a Cowboy, but the biggest is just like a specific, I wish they would have, I know they were trying to be accurate. I wish they would just change the name, made up a fake gang name for them.- All right, I'm ready. What's the, what's the fake gang name you came up with?(laughing)- Oh wait, hang on, let me see if my chat GPT plug in is still working, I'm gonna ask. I know it's not, I gotta log in again.(laughing) It would've given me some great ones, I feel sure.- Oh, absolutely.- Dude, what's your next scene?- I gave you all three because we both had the same one.- Right, right. My third one is the, is again, Ringo and Doc. It's the final shootout.- Oh man, yeah, it's good. It's really good. I'm Y'all good, Barry.- It's got some good dialogue and it's also is a real thing that happened. It's important, but they just were, I guess it's so weird to me just 'cause I don't walk around with guns, going like tapping them and staring at people.- Yeah.- But they're like, they're like, in the woods, just the two of them and they're just circling each other. Like, Doc is smoking a hand-rolled cigarette.- And they're not that far either. No, no, they're like, they could bump elbows if they wanted to. That's what I'm saying. If they drew and put their arms straight, they would shoot right past each other's head. That's what was going on. Yeah, well, because I think a shootout is being like quick in the dead where it's like, you stand 20 paces away and it's like draw. But they were like, their knees were almost touching and they're just circling each other in the woods and they're just talking shit. I wonder if that's more accurate than the 20 paces, Taren and Dra. Dude, I don't know, but the whole time I'm watching, I'm just thinking this is so, I can't imagine,'Cause neither of them were like, like I kind of understand it. It's like, oh man, those guys were really mad at each other in the bar and one of them hit the other and one of the beer bottle. I'm not doing that, but I, that was in the heat of the moment. But these guys are not mad at all. They're just hanging out during the day, getting ready to shoot each other. And that's very strange to me.- You know why they're mad? Pooping outside. No AC.- Right in the workplace.- It's where my stashes.- The horses.(laughing)- Come in. Yeah, no, that's a good scene. I like that. I like how they show only his silhouette when he first walks up and you're like, oh man, Kurt Russell's about to lay waste to this guy and it turns out it's not Kurt Russell. I really like that. And that really put it into the, not the Cowboys, the regulators. No way, that's another movie.- So let's see, Chad G.P.T. says, the frontier outlaws, trailblazing Wranglers, Lone Star Ropers, they really love a iteration. I keep telling them to cool it on the alliteration. What else did I got that's good? Sunset riders, that's pretty good. Ooh, that's a nice one. Yeah, I like that one. The Coyote Canyon Cruuners, that's a terrible one. I think I said band, that was, I think they think they're actually a band. Like a band in place, you know. What was the crew nurse? What was it? The Coyote Canyon Cruuners. Spur and saddle. Oh man, the Buccaroo Baladeers. There you go, it heard you say Buccaroo earlier, and now it's using its algorithm. I like regulators. Can we just steal that from the other regulators?- Yeah, yes.- Yes, and the regulators were, Ringo was the head of the regulators. Definitely the other guy died. Wait, it's Ringo? Oh, well then it's the Beatles.- Yeah, that's seen, I really like that scene. There's some good dialogue, but also it's just so bizarre to me to just watch those guys. Just like two of, I mean, again, true story. Two of the greatest gunfighters alive in the country at this point in time are just in the woods, just circling each other, elbows touching and then they just start shooting in one of them dies.- Yeah, 'cause it's quick, it's fat. Once they finally draw, it was wicked quick.- Yeah, dude, and they're both like, they're like tap and they have the same gun, by the way. They both have like nickel-plated colts with like an ivory handle. That's like a historically accurate. But they're like tap in the gun, like trying to juke the other person to draw on first, like tap in it, like a headfaken.- It seems like you would wanna draw first, no?- You would think. I would be definitely going like holy shit, look behind you and then drawn if that's what we were gonna do. Or at least for the contrary.- I would still be cleaning myself in the river, but after I was done with that, I think I would use some sort of rifle to try to shoot him, or if it's a movie shoot him with a shotgun from 50 yards away.- Well dude, no, I think we already know what you would do'cause Kurt Russell lays it out for us. You get your friend to go and shoot the guy for you.(laughing) He's like, you meet me here at Coyote Canyon, at the mouth at 7 p.m. I'll be there, you tell 'em I'll be there. And it's like, hey, Doc, would you go and do that for me?(laughing) Since you're already dying a TB, could you cough on 'em a couple times in case it kills you?- When he opens his mouth, you cough inside of it. And then that will ruin his job in the Coyote Canyon crooners.(laughing)- Yeah, the pistol arrows, the runnygates, whatever.- These sounds like 60s motel dance.- Two wild boars.(laughing)- All right, what's your first quote?- So there's a part where Doc Holiday is playing the piano with his woman and he's playing some overture. Or what was it, a nocturn that he was playing. And then somebody walks up, one of the guys, Billy Clinton, who is, what's his name? Lowell, Frickin, Thomas Hayden Church. He comes up and starts talking to him about it. And afterwards, skipping ahead is the quote that I have where he says,"Why it's the drug piano player. You're so drunk, you can't hit nothing." In fact, you probably see in double and he draws a knife out and that's when Doc Holliday pulls out a second gun and he's like, "I have two guns, one for each of you." That was pretty, free, good smooth when he did that. Yeah, I have a whole subsection of Doc Holliday quotes and that's one of them. And he's like, you probably see in double and he pulls two guns, he got two guns, one for each of you. But right before that, when he's playing the piano, and they're talking to someone's talking to him about playing the piano, and he's like, it's a nocturn. He's like, what is that? It's like John Philip Susie. He said, no, you know, Frederick f***ing Chopin.- Yeah, yeah, yeah.- And I just remember Frederick and Chopin.- I like, dude, you're right. Val Kilmer freaking kills it.- He talked about, I found a clip on YouTube and him talking to Tom Green on the Tom Green show, remember that?- Oh man.- And he was talking about the dialect coach that he's like, I hired a dialect coach. And I asked, I think he's the best dialect coach in the world. He says the guy's name, but I forgot it. He's like, I'm gonna ask him, like, "Hey, man, I need to sound like a Southern aristocrat after the Civil War doc holiday." But all of those guys died. There's no historical record. It's basically a dead dialect.- Right.- And a dialect coach is like, no, no, I got the guy for you. I have a tape of him talking, I'll send it to you. And so he just drops into the doc holiday voice. He's like, "Wayl." He's like, "Thank you so much for talking with me today." He's like, "He talked so slow. I could have never made it through the movie if I'd talked that slow, but all of the mannerisms and inflections and stuff like that was totally shit, it's brilliant."- Yeah, he, no, for reals, he really does a great job.- And dude, like after the first time he was gonna shoot Johnny Ringo in the street, he came out to like defend Wyatt again. And then as soon as Johnny Ringo turns around walks away, he turns around to the barber, he was like on the front porch, getting a shave, and he just like sits down in the barber's chair and he goes, "Proceed." Yeah, "Proceed." Like everything was like freaking molasses. And you know, like we're from the south, so we hear people talk. When I would travel and go places, people would be like, "Once raw with you." I was like, "Did I talk like that?" Like I feel like I don't have an accent. Yeah. But apparently when you go someplace else, they're like, why are you talking so slow? They're like looking at me funny.- Dude, we definitely do not talk slow, but he was talking slow and not nearly as slow as the guy he was taking the accent from some project, Civil War, Aristobarat.- Yeah.- My first doc Hollywood quote is right when they get the tombstone and they share off, who's like a politician you, he's got like a cane, he's got a bowler hat on.- Fuller hat, three pieces of vest.- Yeah, he's like, beside Sheriff, I'm also the tax collector, Captain of the Fire Brigade, and President of the non-partisan anti-Chinese league.(laughing)- Oh man, that guy was a jerk.- He was a huge jerk, and I rewound it again to go,"What did he say, non-partisan? What is like, oh, anti-Chinese league?"- Yeah man, you don't want those Chinaman coming in and building railroads and then staying around.- Yeah, building railroads and then staying around to open a laundromat, that's, dude, it literally, that's the whole movie they're talking about. It's like, is there Chinese laundering here? I looked all over and I couldn't find one. That's where I get my opium from.- That's a good place. That's a good, if you're gonna do drugs, you might as well aim for the top.(laughs)- And then Kurt Russell's like, telling his wife who's addicted to the opium, he's like, is that, does you get a new bottle of opium? Is that more opium?- Yeah. - Don't worry about it.- Yeah, they didn't call it opium. They call it light. - No, no, they never called it opium. But I was pretty sure that's what it was.- It is, yeah, it's a tincture of opium, which is still around, dude. It's like someplace.- You just go to a Chinese laundry.- No Chinese laundry and say, "I need my tincture of opium." I need a tincture of opium.- Make sure you shave a mustache first.- The good thing is it's only used for like really bad cases of diarrhea.- Dude. - Because opium stops you up really bad.- Yeah.- So like all those people that are in the opium, then they don't have to worry about pooping outdoors because they have 16 pounds of undigested red meat floating in their bowels.- That's the most compelling case I've ever heard for opium in the rest. I mean, it ought to be shit in the sand if I just drink this opium tincture, count me in. She was like those sticking her finger in the bottle and like rubbing it on her teeth, like she was doing coke. The funny thing is there's absolutely no reason why I should have known that opium did that, but as soon as you started that sentence, I knew that that's what you were gonna say. And I don't know why I knew that.- Yeah, you know that because you've taken pain medicine before and then not had to poop, right?- Not really, man. I haven't taken anything stronger than an ibuprofen in like 15 years. No, I'm saying like I got a tooth pulled, like my wisdom teeth pulled, they gave me like lore tab or vikin, that's an opium derivative. So like that all does the same thing.- They offer that to me anytime, like any time you get a hang now, the doctors like, would you like a million opioids? And I'm like, no dude, I'm good. I got ibuprofen at home, I'm not taking this shit.- Yeah, yeah, but when I got my wisdom teeth out, I was 16 and I'm glad they gave it to me because it was great.- Yeah, I got my, well, again, I said I haven't taken it in 15 or 20 years when I got my wisdom teeth out. that was a lot longer than that.- Yeah, I got a tusk.(laughing)- And nine wisdom teeth. They're coming through my chest.- No, no, I was happy to wrap.- I was eating corn on the cob that same afternoon. What's your next quote?- My next quote is the one that everybody always says from this, I'm Yohaka Berry.- Yeah.- I really liked it.'Cause he said it a couple times.- He did, and he said it twice. I don't know what it means, but I've always liked it.- Do you wanna know what I found out about it?- Oh yeah, definitely. All right, so there are a lot of people that think he might have said, I'm your Huckleberry,'cause in the South, the Huckle was a casket handle. And then they said, well, maybe Val Kilmer said it wrong, and it just sounded like Huckleberry, and then they kept it and then went forward again. But Val Kilmer has said on numerous occasions that no, it said Huckleberry in the script. So he maintains that he said it correctly. But another Southern usage of the slang Huckleberry was like the right person for the job. Yeah, so that's probably what it meant. Yeah, that sounds a lot more plausible to me. I would have, you definitely didn't say Huckle Bearer, he said Huckle Bearer. Correct. Huckle Bearer, rural juror, the rural juror. The rural juror. Yeah, I'm your Huckle Bearer is my thing. That's a great one. I have that on my Doc Holiday list of quotes.(laughing) Do you have to read regular quotes and like four Doc, let me just get the Doc Holiday quotes out of the way.- This sheriff was saying like, he's like, "Tombstones on the rise, we're gonna be as big as Denver or San Francisco." This time next year and write that point in time, a cowboy just shoots another cowboy in the street and Doc holiday stand right there and he goes, "Very cosmopolitan."- Yeah, he's freaking so snarky, I like it.- God, how come we're so good?- Dude, and his makeup was fantastic in this.- It was incredible, man,'cause there'd be some scenes, he was always like, kind of sickly and salo, but there's somewhere he was like sweating profusely. Yeah. But even like when they showed up close-ups of his eyes, like the makeup look really good because it looked like his eyes were super red. Like he was always like pale with red eyes. Yep. It looked good. Yeah, so I have that very cosmopolitan Frederick f***ing Chopin. I have two guns, one for each of you, and I'm your Huckleberry. I have those four Doc Holley clothes. Those are all great. Those are great. My other not. Doc quote. Yeah. We already said, you're gonna do something or just stay in there and bleed.- Yeah, that's a good one.- You have another one?- Yeah, do. There was, and this is only the history teacher in me. When they were playing pool, billiards, billiards. They, he says, man, we could leave here or we can stay here and make more money than crisis. And I actually, like he's a Greek king that we talk about, he is probably, he's like one of the most wealthy, Well the easiest people that's ever lived.- Yeah.- Not Mansa Musa Wellsy, but pretty close. He was worth like $70 billion at one point.- Not that.- So when he said that,- He said that each East India trading company rich.- Right, right.- Individually rich.- Individually super rich. And there's always a lot of people that say he was credited with minting the first gold coin, and we talk about that in my class. So as soon as he said that, I was like,"Oh snap, now I know who that is." Now that I teach that, that's pretty weird. I think that's the sort of thing that,'cause my grandparents would say stuff like, he's older than Methuselah, and I think that generation, probably around the great depression, that would have been this saying, Richard and Cretius older than Methuselah, and then that stuff kind of started to,'cause everybody had the same classical education, up till the modern education was built in the 1900s, which is way worse.- Now people say more money than who?- I don't know. Bill Gates?- Yeah, more money than Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg, yeah, it's probably it. Sixth century BCE, Asia Minor, super rich guy. That's why I picked that quote, I liked it. I got excited 'cause I knew who that was.- Yeah, dude, and that's another one where it's like, that's not a reference that a lot of people are gonna get, but they just throw it in the movie and they don't explain it and you just either know it or you don't.- Right, and dude, I know it now, but I didn't know it the first time. Well, when I watched that the first.- No, no, I definitely didn't know it.- 20 times. - 1995 or '96 when I saw this the first time.- But I know it now. - Yeah, yeah, good stuff. I got a bonus quote, "Wyderp is, he's on an impromptu horse date with what's her name? They're galping around."- Yeah.- And she makes him laugh and he laughs. She's like, "Oh, you laugh, that's, that when's the last time you laugh?" And he's like, "Well, I don't laugh all day long like an idiot."(laughing) And I just wanna mention, that's confirmed that "Wyderp" would think there were idiots.(laughing)- It is confirmed.- Because we definitely laugh all day long when we're doing dumb shit like this.- And he would be Superman at my mustache.- Superman. Let me tell you, the whole thing with them, like I don't, all of the friggin' earth brothers were pretty unfaithful. And I know they all married hookers, but like, or prostitutes.- Yeah.- But I don't understand like,- In common law, married.- Right. I'm saying like, I don't understand like, what happened to the opium wife? I mean, I know what happened 'cause they say she died, but like, I'm saying like, did he just let her leave with Sam Elliott and his wife? Sam Elliott gets shot and cut off his arm. And so they all leave tombstone and then the bill packs then the younger brother gets shot in the back and killed. That was also weird to me because he died like 20 seconds after he was alive and the bullet wasn't even that deep into his back. They couldn't get it out, it was too deep. I know, and then he immediately died, which I didn't think that was how that worked. Again, like if I got an ingrown toenail, I would die if it was the ancient West. But like, the bullet was like, it was in his lower back. It didn't hit his kidney or his lung or his heart. He wasn't bleeding out. It was just like, I can't get the bullet. And then he was like, well, I just buy why it. And then he died.(laughing)- Let me tell you, this is in the worst. When he dies, I think they told him to stare at something on the ceiling, to keep his eyes fixed.'Cause when you die, your eyes stop moving. But then Kurt Russell lays him down in his head turns and his eyes stay fixed on the thing that's on the ceiling. So his eyes stay in the same spot and I was like, that's not right. But it's fine. Yeah. I like your Pakistan. His younger brother, I love Bill Paxton. His younger brother dies. His older brother gets his arm cut off. And he's like, all right, we're out of here. Tombstone sucks, let's leave. And then I seem like they, everyone got on the train. Everyone who was still alive is younger brother's widow, his opium common law wife, and then Virgil and his wife. And I guess he was like, see it never. And then he went back and with Doc Holiday went to fight the Cowboys. Yeah, he went to fight the rancheros or whatever those guys name were.- The V.- Coyote, Coyote, Croners.- Croners. He went to go have a West Side story dance off with him. But yeah, I mean, I don't know. I guess his opium common law wife that got common law divorced. I don't know, no one ever said.- It's weird to me.- It's weird to me too, but it's one of the things I liked. And it's one of the things that Kurt Russell said that he liked, he's like, there've been 50 movies about Wider, but I liked that this one showed him as a real person, which is like, he's got flaws.- Right.- You know who's obviously was like, wasn't above cheated in cards, wasn't above cheating on his wife, like had a really strong sense of honor.- So much honor that he cheated on his wife and it cards. - And cheated in cards.- BS. Yeah, I just didn't, like it was weird. And then he sees the girl at the end and he was like, I don't have any money or dignity, but I will love you forever. I'm like, what are you basing this level on? You don't even know, or are you basing in her looks on her?- Well, they went on that one horseback ride, and she made a laugh. And he's like, I don't laugh a lot about it. I'm not so many yet.(laughing)- Oh man, that was just weird to me. I didn't, whatever.- Yeah.- I don't know.- Well, it was weird, but then the aftermath is that like him and that lady stayed married for like 50 years, 'cause he didn't die until 1929.- Yeah, that's weird to me too, that I could see videos of him.- Yeah, super weird. Well, that's the thing that's kind of, I mean, I know maybe that's like American. This building has been restored to how it was nearly 50 years ago.- Yeah, it's ago.- No, surely not. No one was alive.(laughing) When you're doing an old West movie that you can have the guy's grandson consult on it and you can see videos of him, or have recordings of him talking about what it was really like.- Yeah, why the third was--- Why the third movie?- In the movie.- Yeah, that's cool.- Yeah, that's the end of my quotes. Let's do characters. That's where an hour into this.- We already know who the best character is. Just say it.- Yeah, it's Val-Kamer.- It's Val-Kamer.- Hands down, bar none.- Yeah, yeah, he was really good. His little tiny silver cup. I kinda wanna get one of those for like a party or something, just walk around the house with it. I think that would be cool.- Get one and use it like for mouthwash.- I have one that's a little bit bigger than that that's got dukes of hazard on it. I think I might use that. My mom found it in my closet. You could spin it around and stuff when you guys have people around on my finger. You finish your scotch. You spin it around on your fingers. Yeah, I don't know what to say about Val Comer. I haven't already said I love Val Comer. He's incredible in this movie. This is my favorite performance of his ever except for Kiscus bang bang for his gay Perry. Me? No, no, I'm neat deep. I just I just like the name. Who taught you English? Kill yourself. I was talking about Kiscus bang bang with somebody a couple of days ago. God, it movies good. Yeah. There's so many people that don't realize what movie that is and they make it sound like it's gonna be Red shoe diaries.- They do, it's not a great title. But man, he's just got that, like he's got leading man, charisma, but he also has the ability, kind of like, Christian Bale to disappear into a character.- Yeah.- Like Kurt Russell as much as he can carry a movie, he cannot do that.- Yeah, you know it's Kurt Russell.- You know it's Kurt Russell. Even when he's like this movie, he's good. He's on my list for this movie, but it's Kurt Russell as a writer. - Yeah, that's right.- And like, there's no Val Kilmer at all in this character. It's just frickin' doc.- Right, and you can tell the roles that we do that, that do that, because we say Doc Holliday and we say Kurt Russell. I haven't even really said wider up that much.- No, it keeps saying Kurt Russell.- Well, and Sam Elliott said,'cause he's like all the, whatever, Bucka Roozer, like living in their canvas tents, like all the extras are living on set in a tent the whole time. Everybody's wearing their period clothing. Like it's not in a studio back lot, it's not in L.A., it's in frickin' actual tombstone. And he's like, you see Val Kilmer walk up in the morning wearing like a Bermuda shirt and like flip flops and a straw hat and they would walk out wearing the clothes like with the makeup, like smoking the cigarette and you're like, bam, like doc holiday.- Yeah, it's him.- 'Cause they were saying like it's so easy to get into character when you go get dressed in all of that period correct clothing and you have a giant handlebar mustache and like shit, I don't even need to read the script I already know who I am.- Yeah, I am this person, right?- Yeah, that's awesome.- Yeah, that's awesome.- That's great.- You got nothing else about Val Kilmer?- No, just that he should have sneezed no more people if he wanted to spread that around.- Yeah.- Why it hurt was my second person, Kurt Russell.- Yeah, I did.- I thought he had a great mustache.- Great mustache.- Was his real?- Yeah. - I think his was real.- Yeah.- Was Val Kilmer's real? I think his might have been real too.- I don't know.- I was trying to figure it out, but if they weren't real, they were very good.- Yeah, it's not like great value in acknowledging over on Rookie of the Year, where it was just straight, walrus. You're the one who picks out all the hair pieces in the fake mustache or so.- And eyebrows, don't forget eyebrows.- And eyebrows, yeah.- Hook.- Hook.- Well remembered.- Joe Pesci.(laughs) Yeah, so White Earps for my second, who's your third?- Yeah, I was gonna say, he did a really good job of White Earps. He was squinty a lot of the time, but he was also not squinty sometimes.- Yeah, dude, his eyes are piercingly blue. I don't know if it was because he was tan from being out in the Arizona sun, but.- Right.- They were piercing.- Dude, I like Kurt Russell.- Yeah, he's good.- Captain Ron Non-Wastanding.(laughing) He's a good actor and he's in some good movies.- Whatever you go. Let's, let's,- And like he was saying it was important to him to portray White-Up, like real White-Up, and like, well, White-Up, the third is in the movie so we could ask him about it. Like, he can hear audio recordings. He's like, I read a lot. I watched a lot of movies. I talked to his grandson. He's like, I wanted to do a good job.- That's pretty awesome.- I want to make it support for you.- I'm a great person.- Dude, I think so too. One of the things is really cool for me.- Yeah, people should do more of that. That's awesome.- And my third was Michael Bean, Johnny Ringo.- Johnny Ringo was good. I was on the fence. I didn't know to go Johnny Ringo or Curly Bill brochures. I'm a Curly Bill because I don't know what I've seen.- I'm glad 'cause there's so many good actors in this movie. I'm glad we didn't have the same three'cause the first two were pretty easy for me. But the third spot, I was like, I could put six people here because there was a bunch of people doing really good stuff. wall to wall people it was did it really was good but michael being a thought was a really good um like he was kyle reese from the original term in movie that's what i mean i know him from but two of my favorite scenes were him and val kielmer he's great and he talked for the behind the scenes feature out about how everybody in the movie refers to johnny ringo as like a scary stone cold killer yeah and he's like since everyone else is saying that i don't need to like play him that way because they've already been told he's like so i can just kind of play him as a regular person like and try to find the nuance and then like--- Nice.- Dude, that's cool.- That's, I love stuff like that. Like that's so smart. It's like they already, like if they don't know, then I have to bring them that. But if they know, I can just be a regular guy and try to bring some depth to it.- Yeah, you don't have to keep saying it. Yeah, dude, that's genius.- Yeah. - I like that. I like that.- So you got it clearly.- Yeah, I went, I was on the fence. I wanted to do it, but the guy who plays Curly Bill Brushes, his name is Powers Booth, which is also a great name. Dude, something about him was free. I don't know what else I've seen him in. I went through his whole thing. I remember some of the characters he played on different things like he's the vice president for part of it on 24 and I totally remember that. But dude, I don't remember what else I've seen him in but he looks so.- I definitely remember him from Red Dawn.- Red Dawn, snap. I don't think I went that far back. That's awesome.- Yeah. - Who was he? I remember that now. Yeah.- Yeah, Lieutenant Colonel Andrew Tanner from Red Dawn.- Andy, yeah.- Oh, dude, nice.- Good call. I should have gone back further. I just did something about him was like pulling me in. I liked him. His character was kind of a bad person, but I liked him the way he played it.- Yeah, well, it was cool listening to the behind this, all the actors talk about one of the nice things about this kind of like unforgiven, which I didn't like nearly as much as this, but there was a lot more nuance in the movie. Like there weren't just good guys and bad guys, like Western good guys or even Hollywood good guys. It's like the good guys are kind of shitty, and the bad guys actually have a reasonable justification for the way that they acted. Like it's cool when you do that.- Yeah, it's not just black hats, white hats.- Yeah, they did kind of do the black hat, white hat thing, where it's like if you're a good guy, you're a clean shaven except for the mustache, and if you're not a good guy, you had some stubble with the mustache.- And beard, yeah. I'm with you. That's cool. That's my three. Yeah, my three as well. The writer, director, bonus stuff. Kevin Jarry is the writer. This script is everybody was, everybody said. The script was amazing. It was brilliant. The reason we were able to get such a good ensemble together is because everybody had awesome stuff to say and do. Like even the ninth lead had like a legitimate character arc and had cool stuff to do. Yeah, that's why it was cool.- What I didn't realize is, I was reading that like, he wanted it to be as close to real as it could be.- Right.- But that made him fall behind schedule, and this dude ended up getting fired before he could make all of the changes he wanted.- He was the initial director, and he had not directed before, and then like a couple, I think maybe a month or so into it, they kinda realized like, hey, we, you're not gonna, you're way behind schedule, you don't know what you're doing. And suddenly they brought in George Cosmodos, who directed like, first blood part two, and co-bron stuff like that. It was a good action director. But Val Kilmer said, he said that like, he's like, "Curt Russell's pretty even keeled." He's like, "And from the first shot on the first day, he kinda looked at me and was like, and we were like, yeah, we might be in trouble."'Cause it was clear, they loved the guy,'cause the script was genius, but he was over his head. Yeah, yeah, he did. Val Kilmer also said that normally when you get a replacement director in the middle of production, production's super expensive. Like the new director comes in like three days later, but they had like almost three weeks of downtime between directors and they didn't get the extra three weeks back at the end They just had to compress stuff. That sucks. Yeah, dude. I saw that the only part that they kept that was directed by Jerry was Charleston Heston. Yeah, the Charleston stuff. Yeah, everything else they kind of either redid or took Dude that guy Jerry. There were wrote some things that I like dude. Yeah, he wrote glory Yeah, like he got the seals Maybe he did he did this story credit for Rambo first blood, part two. He also wrote the mummy like the alamo. Like he was just he was a huge history and like military history nerd. And so all of his credits are in that vein. But yeah, it's so good. We probably aren't going to do judgment night, but I used to like that maybe. I kind of like that. I think it depends on what else has happened in that year. I'd be totally down for that. That's this year. Oh, then we're not doing it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We're not going to do it. Yeah, we're but I got this year. All the other stuff I have is we already talked about the freaking cast the ensemble. I mean, you know, I didn't name a single woman there were all the wise and like Joanna Pacula who plays the wider other love interest. Like they were fine. They just don't feature heavily in this movie. So like I was trying to get him in there, but they just didn't have a lot of scenes. You got any other best? I don't. Let's let's do worse. The only worst that I had is again, it's a true story, but I had to capture that Doc's deathbed confession to Wyatt that the only time he was ever truly in love was with his teenage cousin. Yeah. And then she had so much guilt over that she went and joined a convent. I was like, I probably should write that down under worst cousin. Yeah. Underage cousin. Seems like it's sort of thing we got to work as worst. Yes. Yes, that is probably not the good thing. Oh, dude, David Taylor. Skanks for the memories. Yeah, I put all the stuff we kind of talked about, Bill Paxton's eyes when he died. how unfaithful all the brothers were. I wanted to talk about worse effects. There's a lot of lightning that looks really bad.- Yeah.- The rain looked really good. The other thing was really bad. The lightning. Old tech, there was a guy counting money and he was using an abacus.(laughing) He was like writing it down. He was like moving the abacus with his pen. So he was going like really fast, it was cool.- That might be the oldest tech we've ever captured on this podcast. We can abacus just like 5,000 years old.- Yeah, man. That's pretty much all I got.- Political incorrectness, everything you would expect, everyone was very racist against Chinese people in the Old West.- Yeah, man.- And they definitely were in this movie. They didn't, it wasn't like a big part of it. It's just like, oh, I'm president of the anti, the nonpartisan anti-Chinese league.(laughing)- Yes.- The nonpartisan, 'cause you don't wanna split people and get to the men after your wig.- Yeah, it doesn't matter if you're a wig'cause they weren't even like Democrats and Republicans were there in the 1870s.- Yes, there were, but it was different.- Yeah, yeah, 'cause remember, it was like Lincoln, most of the Republican. Lincoln was reprobbing, yeah.- Five questions, is it okay for kids? I'm gonna go nah.- Yeah, to be honest though, like we talked about earlier, I think it's 11 or 12 is probably good. I think even before PG-13, I think if it was PG-13, they could have gotten there easier.- Yeah, well to me it didn't seem like it was even all that bloody, like as gory as far as that goes. There's plenty of R-rated movies that are really gory, but this was like, there wasn't that much swearing, there's no sexual content and it wasn't super bloody. Yeah, you're right. They could have gotten the PG-13 here. I think I don't know why they didn't. So yeah, was the movie get made if it were pitched now? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, dude, Yellowstone. And I saw the Western with a phenomenal script. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, they could. Dude, Yellowstone spun off like a bunch of different shows. Yeah, that's what so I was talking about this today and I was like, hey guys, so it would have get made today. Like there's Yellowstone and they were both like everybody was like, well yeah, like Harper was saying, like, yeah, Yellowstone, but they have a spin-off that's 1883 or whatever the number is, that's set back then. So even people like that, that's even doing well. So it's not just like Kurt, not Kurt. Friggan, what's his name? Kevin Costner. Kevin Costner driving in a truck. That's the thing from this movie. It's set back then and it's still doing well. So people like it. Yeah, I think Yellowstone's definitely made this a pretty easy thing to make, although I I think it would definitely be a TV show. I mean, Tombstone could be a movie, but Wyatt Earp could be a TV show too.- Yeah, I think so. There was a Wyatt Earp TV show through the 50s that ran for a long time, okay, for Aller, whatever it was called.- Yeah, oh, one other thing I was gonna say for best, I forgot to write it down, but usually when the Wyatt Earp story is told, the movie ends with the shootout at the okay crowd. I liked that this movie used that as like their midpoint.- Yeah, that was cool.- Yeah, I think it's like a third act after it. I thought that was kinda cool.- Yeah, that was cool. Oh, did you recast it?- Yeah, I got a couple. You go first.- No, no, I wanna hear yours first. All right, so for Wyatt Earp, I got Chris Pratt.- Holy sh, all right, so I almost did Chris Pratt for Doc holiday, but I came up with a different one. And then I was like, well, maybe I can put him in Wyatt Earp's spot, but then I saw Chris Pine in the list of actors that I was looking at the ages, you know? And I like Chris Pine, and I think he could grow nice mustache. He could definitely grow a nice mustache. Yeah, I was kind of thinking of who has like good stubble and good mustache. So it's like, and now you've given me a challenge. And I think I kind of want I'm going to go. So Chris Pratt. Yeah. As wider for Johnny Ringo. I'm going to go Chris Hemsworth. Oh nice. All the Chris's for dog holiday. I'm going to go who's Captain America? Chris Evans. Chris Evans. Chris Evans. Yeah, Chris Evans for for Doc Holiday because he actually can be really funny.- Yeah. - And he has great mustache.- Yeah, we got all Chris's. I think you should also put Henry Cavill in here somewhere. He's got a great mustache. I'm just thinking of mustache guys.- If you're gonna put it on with AI or CGI, he has a great mustache.- Well, no, they took his mustache off with AI.- Yeah, they covered it up.- From the mission impossible.- They covered it up.- Yeah, I would.- You could do all Chris's, I think.- All Chris's. No, you do whoever you do, but.- Do you name it anything different or is it still called Tombstone?- No, the Coyote Canyon Chris Croners.- I had Chris Pine as Wyatt, Wyatt.- Nice.- I wanted Kurt Russell to come back and play Virgil.- Yeah.- Like now, 'cause he's--- Yeah, I thought Billy Bob Thornton would be a good Virgil too.- Yeah, dude, he's 72 or something like that, but I think he could still play it. And for Doc holiday, I want Remy Malik. I think that guy could play--- He got a good mustache.- He's got--- Dude, I just think he could play that slow talk and you would, I think he could play that part.- I don't really, I don't, I don't know him from anything, but the Boehmian Rhapsody movie.- But did you just see Mr. Robot?- No.- No, I didn't.- The movie where the stuff comes alive in the museum. Not at the museum?- No, I did not. - I did not too. Yeah.- Dude, he's kinda got that, he's a little standoffish, kinda weird, but he, he's, dude, I think he could play that guy all day.- This I think would actually be a really fun one to recast because you have like 12 parts and they're all in their 30s and 40s. So you have like your choice of basically every major actor.- All the people that we already know instead of a bunch of 12 year olds that we've never seen before.- Yeah, and I do know that Jamie Foxx and Will Smith can both play really convincing cowboys with good moustaches, but I didn't find any place to put them in there.- Yeah, I don't wanna put Jamie Foxx in anything because we've already gotten an anger email but us putting him in his batman. So we don't want to make that person mad again.- Pretty sure that person is long gone, but yeah. Can you still watch and enjoy this in 2023?- Yes. - Yeah, absolutely.- It's hard to find us, not streaming anywhere. You have to rent it on Amazon Prime or it's on preview with commercials. If you think you may also be suffering from Isitiel Yama.- I also have severe to moderate black psoriasis.- All sort of colitis. The free commercials are always freaking medical commercials. I can't tell if I think I might have that and that's why they're showing it at. Do I look, I don't look that stuff up? Why do they have your--- If you're watching a movie from 30 years ago, you might need these, these, these LASIX or blood pressure medicine.- And here's a coupon for ibuprofen.- Yeah, so it's hard to find, but it is available online if you wanna rent it. 399, I rented it on Amazon Prime'cause I didn't wanna watch commercials or freebie with commercials, but just pay for it.- Just pay for it.- We just came out with Uncle Buck on Patreon. So we got that out there.- That was so much fun.- Super fun. Next up on Patreon will be Field of Dreams, I think we said.- Yeah, Field of Dreams.- Well, so Patreon is also available on Apple Podcast and now just now on Spotify, Patreon just told me two days ago that it'll be available on Spotify. So if you listen on Spotify, you can get the Patreon feed there as well too. So that's pretty cool.- Nice.- Yeah, next episode, The fugitive.- The fugitive, man.- What I want from each and every one of you is a hard target search every gas station, residents warehouse, farmhouse, handhouse, outhouse, and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at 15 miles. Your fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Campbell. Go get it. - I love me, some fugitive.- Tommy Lee. - To me too.- And there's fun stories about the behind the scenes of that movie too, so I am very excited.- I didn't kill my wife. I don't care. - I don't care. Yeah, that's good stuff, man. All right, so what else we got? Nothing? Nothing. Yeah. I'm going to go listen to some Coyote Canyon crew nurse. I love that album.[MUSIC PLAYING] Thanks for listening to Movie Life Crisis. Please subscribe, rate, and review, and remember. Don't drive anger.[MUSIC PLAYING](upbeat music)[Music]